wake up

woke up at around 6.45 am. got up at 10.45 am. convinced myself why i should get up during the four hours in between. i thought i was over it. apparently not. i was still emoing over my lost shot at graduation and all the people and events connected to that.

applied for residency. accidentally met this person along the way. we enrolled together. she won't be marching this april too. but unlike me, she was just full of joy. she was all hey, it's okay! :). she didn't say it to me directly but that was what she released into my melancholic atmosphere. that was when it hit me. it IS okay. i've been putting to much drama on this issue, even pulling people towards my misery. but the things is, it's not that big of a deal. graduation is a big deal, alright. But its not that big to make me ruin the rest of my life and the relationships that i have. i may have done a major major fatally idiotic mistake but it's not yet the end of the world. i still have a lot of tomorrows. and if i continue drowning in this i-am-not-okay state of mine, then all those tomorrows would lose their promise too. another major major fatally idiotic mistake. that, i can't anymore afford to make.

it's just a matter of perspective after all. there are more important things. now, i see. i won't be sad for the rest of my life. i refuse to accept defeat!